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Twin Trees

by Michael Pancini

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1.
Gather the figs in from the thistles Leave the gleanings on the vine If it’s the wind that we inherit leave your laundry on the line ‘Cause all of our plans are just vagabonds in the parking lot hanging around. Like some parenthetical statement that you pass over when you read out loud. I heard that you mended the rent in your old winter coat With a handful of yesterday’s thread that You accidentally stole Now I’m walking backwards in fast forward I’ve not seen you in such a long time. But I’m stumbling forward in slow motion wondering Is this God’s voice or mine? Were we lovers, or were we only thieves? Stolen away in the forest amidst a blanket of past life debris Lately I’ve been feeling just like one of those trees Stuck here in a pile of my own fallen leaves So one day when you come by could you gather them for me They once were mine, now they’re yours to keep.
2.
The summer that you turned 16 you got the upstairs room It was big enough to fit a bed and drums, even a new couch too We’d stay up all night, every night with headphones on our heads and when everyone was getting up for work we'd go to sleep instead I've heard that when you start to die, you see this strange white light I bet when I go it will remind me of your window on a summer night
3.
It’s almost 4 It smells like rain Nobody is home It’s my favorite time of day Except maybe the night time, or anytime with you. You close the door And turn the key When it almost doesn't start You smile at me. We got a lot in common, we’re pretty much the same and I just want to stare into your face until the engine stalls or bleed dry the brakes, so we never stop at all.
4.
Poison Ivy 03:31
Your summer dress smells like sunscreen Your summersault landed in the poison ivy You always said each day brings a new mystery I’ve never known anyone as well as I know you And hope we both die at the same time. Whats old is new and all will be forgotten Hey, who’s forgotten you cold in your cotton Underclothes, Vulnerable, we are so much more so in the dark And I always try but I cannot help looking deep into my midnight mind so crooked It’s like a mirror in a mirror endless reflections of my own face repeating the same word until the meaning is erased A yellow moon rises above the drive-in All those little lives you want to live inside of When the movie ends all the former frames make sense
5.
Even though I’m on my feet, I don’t take my break until 2 or 3 All the people that I work with like to make fun of me. But it makes the day go by fast when you know that the second half Will be shorter than the first, its best to get the worst out of the way. But no matter how much I make, it always seems like I could use a little more And being a pharmacist is ok, it's better than when I worked at the video store and the gas station before that, sometimes I get so overwhelmed when I look back at the twisted and tangled path that led me up to the present moment I am at. One of my all time favorite days happened the summer after I finished 1st grade Me and my dad and my brother spend an afternoon at the lake. And as we set the boat adrift I tried to help but I could not lift the oar Sometimes I still feel like that little girl standing on the shore When I look across the lake, it's still my dad's canoe I am looking for And the little waves it would make, I guess were all lost in the wake of somebodies passing Next week I turn 28, I used to joke about what I’d be when I was almost 30 anymore its not quite the same, not so much funny “haha” as it is funny “strange”. But anything worth explaining cannot be explained.
6.
Seniors Rule 04:46
At Bible study your face turns bright red every time you read So many names you cannot pronounce in the genealogies. Do you really think that the witch of Endor brought Samuel up for Saul? When we meet again on streets of gold will we remember each other at all? Will we know we were friends? Friday night, dark country road, when you’re driving between towns with the dance music radio station blasting loud. The staccato beats and the buzzsaw keys, the refrain so mantra-like You said I feel like I’m on the cusp of the eternal like anything is possible tonight, perhaps probable. The fireflies fill the fields beside us tiny comets green and bright. You turned to me, turned the music down and said our lives are like that light. And I thought about all the people I never knew but wanted to know, and I thought about the past 10 years and wondered where the next 10 years would go It’s so hard to tell.
7.
Watercolors 04:05
You sit on the edge of the foot of your bed like some graven image fashioned from the hands of men so far away from the innocence of beginnings yet somehow still so far from the end. Some paths lead nowhere Some people just go away Some parts of your life you remember Like they just happened today I’ll blow you a kiss from a sinking ship We’re all looking for land lost at sea Sometimes I ride on the crest of the wave but Most days the waves just bury me We're so much like water Conforming to each others shapes In the night when we hold onto each other toss and turn just trying to escape The glorious boring days. they just bleed together in a watercolor haze how can I ask for mercy when its judgement I demand? How do you so feel alone with your hand in another hand?
8.
Loose Leaves 05:00
We are all time travelers, we just can’t shift into reverse the more we drink this cup the less we quench our thirst So much of this waters passed under the bridge I can’t remember what you did, but there are some we spent together I cannot forget I still don’t ever leave when I say that I’m going to I just hang out by the front door in your living room you never know what hanging around for a few extra minutes could do change your life like you want it to bring you something brand new and exciting You breathing into your sweater sleeve, drinking loose leaf Earl Grey The morning sun diffused through the trees on an autumn day Reminds me of something I’ve never know, but the echo i know well Like when you hear the ocean’s roar in a seashell You don't have to leave just cause you think that its getting late the finest moments happen just before the break of day Our childhood homes are falling down and our bodies have begun to decay But when one glory fades another glory takes its place just like the leaves change after the Labor Day parade you don't have to be afraid anymore where were going

credits

released October 22, 2013

Played and recorded by M. Pancini. Backup voice: Jillian Pancini
Cover design/photo editing by M. Pancini, original photographs by Jillian Pancini. Special thanks to David Black.

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Michael Pancini Valparaiso, Indiana

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